OMG; or, because shirts are overrated (that's my favorite part)

I don't have a lot of time today, but I still wanted to post (stupid committment!). I was looking for a youtube video from Derek Jeter's 2001 Saturday Night Live appearance... but instead I found a pop-up  for this which promised "Derek Jeter Shirtless"! I thought it was the funniest thing I have seen in a really long time! On a side note, it took me a long time to find a picture of Derek Jeter that was an actual baseball photo and even longer to find an action shot. Hmmm, I wonder if it is a copyright issue, or if the poor man is just being objectified.

Enjoy.

Accounting; or, my life in numbers (dresses edition)

Number of...

dresses hanging in my closet right now = 11 (not counting skirts)

dresses in storage = 9 (too small 6, too fancy for everyday wear 2, not weather appropriate 1)

dresses coming in the mail because I ordered them this weekend = 3 (and one skirt)

dresses at Nordstroms.com that I am currently lusting after = 11

times a week I wear a dress to work = 1

times I have had my skirt fly up in the wind Marilyn Monroe style = 9 (most of these were in Reno)

times I have worn a dress with cowboy boots = 1

dresses I have worn until they literally fell apart and were rendered unwearable = 2 (a lime green satin dress with orange and green organza sleeves that was a flower girl dress at age 6 and a thrift store find J Crew black shirtdress at age 19).

times I insisted that I could wear the above dresses "one more time"= too many

bridesmaid dresses I have donated to Good Will = 3

bridesmaid dresses I have been able to "shorten and wear again" = 0

bridesmaid dresses I was able to wear as a halloween costume = 3 (princess, princess, and beauty queen)

times I have shut my skirt into the door of my car = 2 (that I know of)

Prom dresses I have worn after the age of 30 = 2 (prom party, halloween costume)

times I almost hit someone for making fun of me for wearing a prom dress after the age of 30 = 1

A Sunday in dresses; or, if my life had a costuming budget

I have been obsessed with dresses lately. It got me thinking about my Sunday pictoral. In a perfect world I would be able to wear the perfect pretty dress to each perfect Sunday event.

Here is a Sunday in dresses.

Coffee

Remember this nightgown so you can compare my morning version to my "night" version--apparently in a perfect world I change in the middle of the night. 

 I love comfy mornings with my coffee. Most days, I get up an hour earlier than I need to so that I have time to linger over my coffee.

Champagne Brunch

This is currently my favorite dress. I love the way that the bright floral fabric contrasts against the softer muted version of the same fabric. This dress is from Nordstoms.com (most of them are) and it sells for about $200.00. There is one review of this dress. A woman gives it one star because "it just doesn't look good on me." Hmmm, how is the fault of the dress? Blasphemy. 






Shopping, Matinee, Or, I don't know, a Baseball game. After all I did say this was a pefect world!

 I love old reels of baseball games from the 1940's and 1950's. All the men wore suits and hats, and the women wore dresses, hats, and usually carried a handbag. Super glamorous. It always seems such a shame to me that we don't seem to dress up for anything any more. A few years ago a college volleyball team was criticized for wearing flip flops to a trip to the White House. Many people took offense to the criticism and defended the athletes saying that we don't live in a formal world anymore, and that at least the flip flops were "fancy."  

 

Afternoon Tea

 While in London last summer, my BFF and I went to high tea in a relatively hoity toity teahouse. We tried our best to dress up, but between living out of a suitcase and needing to wear footwear that could handle the 5+ miles I tend to walk while in London we were WAY underdressed. Combine that with the dress of our companions (one a teenage boy who was in jeans, nikes, and a windbreaker, the others not much better), our American accents and lack of reservations, and well, the waiter was trying to be nice to us...but. It was what I call a Pretty Woman moment. You know the one where Pretty Woman tries to shop in the expensive boutique on Rodeo Drive...

I have a feeling that if we walked in off the street in this dress, I imagine that waiter would have been a little less snooty. Well, prolly not if we were BOTH wearing this, that would be weird!

Afternoon Walk (Jane Austen Style)

Yes, I know that if I really wore this--and the shoes that seem to go with it--I wouldn't REALLY want to walk very far. And certainly I would not want to walk over rolling hills covered with green grass that most likely has just recently been soaked by the rain... But, wouldn't it be lovely?

 Dinner

When I was 19, I dated a boy with a lot of money. How much money? A lot. He took me home to Nantucket for Easter weekend. His was an "old money" family and when he awkwardly revealed that he had bought me some clothes for the weekend, I was a little offended: until I saw them. I have never worn such wonderful clothes before, or since. The relationship never really went anywhere--we were of a different class and religion. But, that experience allowed me to see a world that I had only read about. The day I walked downstairs into a formal dining room in a dress very much like this one changed me.

I lost the clothes when I moved home. I was flying back to California and I could not afford to take all of things on the plane with me. I asked a friend to hold some boxes for me until I could afford to have them mailed; even though I sent the money not too surprisingly the box with these beautiful clothes were never sent.

Cocktails

 For my birthday I had a party with a cocktail party theme. My friend Tiffany wore a dress like this. I thought it (and she) was so beautiful.

And finally...

                             Bed

Going to bed is much sexier than waking up. I will let you draw your own conclusions as to how I get from this sexy white satin gown into the comfy pjs from the "coffee" photo above.  Ahem, I did say this was a Perfect World ;)

Joe Buck can kiss my; or, if you don't like baseball don't take an announcing job

Joe Buck is Fox network's number one sports announcer. He covers football and baseball. But, he has been overheard saying that he doesn't like baseball and implied that if he had his way he'd just do football. This has always bothered me. He is paid millions of dollars to watch baseball games from the best seats and talk about it on the air. This is a dream job, at least for me it is.

Today he threw this big hissy fit because the game he was covering took too long. On the air he sighed and rolled his eyes at having to watch this marathon game. I wanted to throw a shoe at him. I mean if you would rather be somewhere else...let me do your job.

little boys; or, the trouble with cute

My nephew is four years old. He is incredibly smart, charming, handsome, and smart. As all nephews should be.

He is also obsessed with all things male and, well, a little digusted by girl things. This nascent anti girl sentiment is fostered by having an older sister and by his father's very mild case of mysogny (inherited from his father, yes that would also be MY father).  Anyway, this four year old angel is going through a good old fashioned I hate girls phase.

The other day, I asked him what he would do if a second head grew out of his neck. He looked at me and said, "That would be cool." Then I followed that up by saying, "But, what if it was a girl's head?" Without a single pause he said, "I would cut that right off."

Aww boys.

baggage; or, what do you expect from Jerry Springer?

I returned home from a day of student conferences and Cinco de Mayo festivities exhausted and plopped onto the couch for some good old fashioned mindless television.  Lately, I have been watching the Game Show Network (GSN). It is extraordinarily mindless. Deal or No Deal is on every other minute wedged between The Newlywed Game and a really annoying show that is hosted by the other guy on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (the guy who is not Will Smith). I like it because I don't really have to pay attention, I don't really need to watch the whole thing, and I definitely don't need to have seen last week's episode. But tonight. Oh tonight I caught the last few minutes of a show I have never seen before: Baggage.

Baggage is hosted by Jerry Springer, so you know that it must be all kinds of awesome. I missed most of it, but I think that the concept is that you reveal your emotional or dating baggage and then suitors decide whether or not they would still date that person. Sadly, I only caught the last five minutes.  But, believe me, i will be back for more. In the part I saw a very attractive woman opens a suitcase and reveals a card that says "I choose my cat over any man." She smiles while Jerry Springer goes "Oh my god" as if it said "I am a black widow who has killed my previous four husbands."  She smiles, and the guy, a plain looking man in his 40's, scratches his head and looks at this far more attractive woman with trepidation. She goes on to explain that her cat is very special. She says that the cat "talks to me and calls me mama, can do several tricks, she fetches..."

As this woman talks she starts to glow and gets really excited. The two men get more and more uncomfortable. Then it is time. Springer asks the man if he can live with her "baggage." He says, and this is my favorite part, "Well, you said you could put up with my chronic halitosis, the fact that I had my car re-possessed so that I have to ride the bus everywhere, and my three kids..." Dramatic pause. Then he reaches out and closes the suitcase and says, "I was happy you said you could deal with my baggage, but I can't deal with yours. I think your crazy." Boom. Suitclose slammed. Woman denied. Show is Over.  I was left with Jerry Springer asking me to be sure to tune in next time. Oh yes, Jerry, I will. I will.

bitter; or, a cry for help

I am beginning to hate my job.

Before I begin to complain, because I am going to. I need to starte with the following disclaimer. I know this is my fault. There are other folks who played their parts, but really, I accept that it is MY choices that led me here. I chose teaching because I wanted to do this. I chose English becasue I loved it. I chose this profession. I chose to quit my Phd program. I chose to work as an adjunct. I made these choices. I know this.

But...

I am becoming so angry and bitter that it is affecting my job performance. I resent the amount of prep, grading, reading, planning, meetings, events, just the sheer amount of time that my job demands. I am an adjunct instructor and a co-coordinator for the Shasta College Puente Program. I usually teach two classes a semester. This year I accepted the Puente Program Coordinator's position  When I began doing Puente my workload trebled. In the fall, I was unhappy with the amount of extra work, but I thought I would be leaving at the end of the year (I am not) and I was being paid twice as much. This semester I only got one class. But, the work for the coordinator position has ballooned. Without having to get into details (see yesterday's blog for some of the numbers) I figure that I am paid $5.45 per hour. I don't really have enough money to pay my bills.

The real bitterness comes in when I think about my co-workers.  My co-coordinator is a full time employee. He makes four times what I make, simply because he is salaried. Any event we do he is paid to do twice. He gets paid as part of his salary and he gets the same stipend I get. Whereas I work for nothing he gets double. I try to not say anything, but it gets really hard sometimes. I don't want to ruin my working relationship with him because I am so resentful and bitter. Some of the Puente kids have commented that I am not doing some of the activites. I have tried to explain without going into details to them that I get tired and overworked, but they just don't get it.

Now, no matter what, there isn't anything I can do about this right now. I can't ask for more money. I can't get a second job. I can't quit without destroying three years worth of work history. This is the situation. It is what it is. I have committed to the program for one more year. In this year, I am preparing to re-apply to graduate schoool, and look for full time teaching positions. So, I know that I have to finish this semester, teach a summer class, and then do the adjunct teacher/Puente program coordinator thing next year. I know this. The problem is: I have a terrible attitude. Awful. I am negative and resentful. I don't do anything extra. I refuse to do things that normally I would want to do. I come home at the end of the day and say things like, "Guess how much money I made today? Oh that's right $0."  I shirk. I procrastinate. I complain.

I don't want to be l ike this. I don't. I hate when people tell me I should count myself as lucky because at least I HAVE a job. But seriously, how do I find a way to put the money issues aside? How do I separate teaching from the "job"? If I don't do this, I will be even more miserable. I will make people around me miserable. I could even jeopardize any possible work reccommendations from this school. Sigh. How do I learn to love my job again?