so much for everyday; or, so,about this commitment thing

Yesterday, I watched a show on Lifetime (yes, it's for women and I love it), about a beautiful, blonde, model who dies and is returned to earth in a smart, fat, woman's body. It is calle Drop Dead Diva and, well, for various reasons, I like it. The episode last night was partially about a woman who was suing her maid of honor for banging her fiance right before the wedding. And yes, I do mean right before, as in while wearing her bridesmaid dress. Anyway, the gist  of the show, and this post, is about commitment, and I guess, forgiveness. In the end, the bride drops the lawsuit and forgives her strayed groom and welcomes him back. she forgives him because she loves him, and because he tells her that he knows it was a mistake, but that he will try harder. Of course, there was more to it than that, but I am not going to retell the entire plot points of the show here (check it out if you have room on your DVR for a funny procedural law show about identity).

What I really want to say, is that, committment is hard for me. I tend to be ruled by how I feel. If I feel sad, or sick, or off in any way, I will use it as a reason to not do something that I know I need to do (work, exercise, pay bills, eat right, floss, etc). I commited to this blog just to practice my discipline. And well, I missed yesterday. In the scheme of things, this is not a big deal; but, then again, maybe it is. I tend to demand perfection from myself, and when I don't get it, I will give up. I normally would say, "Well, so much for September, I guess I'll try again next month." I seldom forgive myself. Or even worse, I use the small failures as an excuse to give up altogether. But this time I am taking my cue from Drop Dead Diva ( hey you gotta get your life lessons where you can, right?) and I am going to forgive myself and just go on.

So, here's to writing everyday, as best as I can.