taking lessons from Better Off Dead; or, learning "Franch"

I have  decided to spend this pre PhD year in preparing for the foreign language requirement.  In the past I always tried Spanish and it did not work out for me. I will write more about that another time.  So, I am going to switch to French. I have a ton of spanish baggage, and really, French is a pretty happy language for me. So without further adieu: I present: Le Plan.

1. Immerse myself in all things "Franch" al la Better of Dead's Kim Darcy.

 I will always love John Cusack. If, for no other reason than because of the classic comedy Better Off Dead. I think this may be the best movie in the history of extremely silly comedies. Some of my most quoted lines are from this movie.

Monique: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.

Lane Meyer: Excuse me?

Monique: You know, like octopus? Testicles?

Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. Big Difference.

That scene is classic! And it makes me laugh every time I think about it. But the all time funniest thing is the scene where Kim Darcy puts together a meal for the Monique the neighbor's foreign exchange student.  She makes french bread, french fries, and french dressing. She pronounces it "Franch" and then later the annoying neighbor lady blows herself up.

Lane: Sorry your mom blew up Ricky.

Have you seen Better Off Dead? Did you love it?  I recently found out that John Cusack hated it. That made me a little sad. But, oh well.

2. Watch French films. J'aime des films de francais.

There are so many times when I am watching a decent american movie, you know, one that is okay, but not brilliant, that I think, "This would be so much better in French."

I have seen many french films, but if you have recommendations: lay them on me.

3. Get me that Rosetta Stone French program.

It's expensive. How expensive? Very expensive. But, hey, I hate language classes, so it should be worth it.

4. Develop a french alter ego. (Why yes, I AM taking suggestions for names!)  When I travel I lie to people. Nothing to serious, I just know I a never going to see them again, so I give them an interesting person to talk to, I put on a show. It's fun, no one gets hurt. Naturellement, je suis la France.

5.  Go to France and pretend to BE that person! Oui. I am serious.

And yes, you can come too!

6. Oh, and I'll pass the foreign language requirement in the process.

serenity now; or, god (that I don't really believe in) grant me the patience...

to get through this day.

to grade as many notebooks, occasions, and essays as I can.

to understand that I may not be able to get them all done and that that is okay.

to compose an apology to my students for the shitty assignment I gave them.

to get all my emailing done.

to get my living space reorganized after the great spring cleaning episode this weekend.

to not kill my mother.

to stop snapping at people (my mother).

to not kill the dog.

to remember that it will take time to recover from this cold/flu.

to drink water.

to get back on track with my healthy living plan.

to view food as fuel and not as therapy.

to pay as many of my bills that I can afford to pay.

to not worry about those that are left unpaid, for now.

to forgive myself for my mistakes.